TRAPPED INSIDE
Author/Spiritual Life Coach/Speaker
Harriet P. Harrison was once a prisoner in Satan's kingdom of darkness, lies and deception. "Trapped Inside" her own prison walls. This is a story of a woman been liberated and now she's an inspiring minister of God’s word, coach, speaker and a "Powerhouse" Kingdom Ambassador for Christ Jesus. Harriet P. Harrison lives her life now in freedom, dominion and authority. She is a victorious woman of God.
This is My Story...
 |
Fourth Ward
Houston, TX
|
|
Trapped inside the darkest secrets of my own mind. My soul is troubled with the sins of bondage that I created and the sins this world put upon me. Living in a tunnel of darkness of no return, no light of day at the end of this mad state of mind. Darkness lurking in the shadows of my life; I’m trapped inside; darkness has taken over my existence in this life, my world. Living in a world of madness where people lie, steal and kill just for fun. I have become a victim to this menace they call society; the place we call home. I’m part of this darker side of life; giving into my own freshly needs and desires enjoying the demons that live deep within my soul. Haunting me, calling my name to move deeper into the world of no return my heart trembles with fear at the sound of their voices. I can’t run or hide because I’M TRAPPED INSIDE.
I’ve created a false image of myself to my family and friends. I live inside my own state of madness pretending to be a person who has self-control; living a lie to everyone including myself; everyone has become a victim to my darker side. The pain is deeper than life it lives on the sins of my soul. My soul is broken, crushed with sinful thoughts of unforgiveness, resentment, deceitfulness and fears. I live in a world that I created; that doesn’t really exist: only to me. It is a trap and there is no way out. My life is cold, dark and frighten. I can’t see the light of day anymore; my world has become the darkest place on the earth.
I am living in a place where your worst fears become your realities. My sins are so deep I can’t stomach them anymore; I’m screaming for help, my cries are loud but no one hears me. Running for my life from place to place afraid of what I might see or hear never looking behind because I know the voices hears my fears and they chase me everywhere I go, I’M TRAPPED INSIDE.
I can’t breathe, help me somebody; anybody save me from myself, but no one hears I ‘m trapped inside my own life of demons and sins. The walls of this hell are closing in on me; my breathing is swallow it’s getting harder to believe there is a way out. Help me, I can’t breathe the fears is taking over my life; I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, help me I’m trapped inside. Lurking in the darkness within the madness of my never ending sin; moving through the night; not sleeping just waiting to capture any breathing exist within my soul. Walking into a place of no return: my soul emerge the sense of urgency to release the demons of hell, it drives my spirit to create more sin. Living in the sins of my past life as a young teenage girl with dreams of becoming a beautiful woman: there lies the realization of the hurts and pains that my boyfriend afflicted upon me rape by his two friends. Vowing to God and myself I would never speak an utter word of this sinful act to anyone. I promised myself that I would go to my grave with this nightmare. Living a life of lies that haunts my soul like a thief in the night; I’m lusting for the darker side that fills me with pleasures of my flesh.
I’M TRAPPED INSIDE.
No one knows the emptiness that lies beneath my hollow soul. Desperately wanting out of my own fleshly body: my heartaches for freedom to be lifted high above my sinful ways: that’s taken root deep within the bear walls of my soul. Desiring to live in the spirit of truth. I’M TRAPPED INSIDE.
A sweet aroma fills the room from my love and the tenderness of my heart; as the days and nights past me by, I sometime think of the world I left behind before my father pasted away; my world, my life that meant some much to me. I struggle to get back to that world of innocence. A life I once knew and loved its existence: now I’m so far away that I can’t see the sunshine that lights the day. My past life seems to have been an illusion of a wonderful fantasy.
I am condemned by loved ones because of my desire to live a life of salvation: craving my Father in heaven that his hands will protect me; and keep me safe from myself. Still seeking the acceptance of others and trying to please them. The darkness is still the place I call home. I'm longing to be acceptance by my birthmother but never acknowledging my own personal needs and heart’s desires. I continue to reach out to her only to be left alone again as a castaway on a deserted island. I have become my own worst enemy.
Living this sinful life has become harder to bear, yet I live this way hoping to be acceptance by her and others. My walls of forgiveness for myself is shallow and empty; but my love for others are so deep and rooted in my soul; that I may desire their present in my life, for whatever it might cost in the end. Everyday I give my sin a reason to keep living, to keep growing and to keep breathing the thoughts of madness inside my shallow walls of life. I’M TRAPPED INSIDE.
I live each day to please whoever and whatever comes my way. To please their sinful cravings, only to be torment again. This wall of sin has taken over my life existence: to live the word of God freely would be impossible, because needs of others have become my first priority. I’M TRAPPED INSIDE.
